The Beautiful Mess We Could Be;

[redsight]

[ Politics is always the same, always some form of the game played in Orlais. It's whispers in the shadows, fake smiles, truths disguised as lies and lies as truths. It makes a good story, something to spice up a book or game of Wicked Grace. 'One time in Orlais...' Hah. Sure, it might make a good plot device, but being caught in the middle of it all? Not exactly what Varric would call a good time.

Even so, he's been finding himself in the middle of a lot of political nonsense lately. Now is no different, with him off on a lengthy mission chock full of political intrigue. That's not even taking his traveling companion into consideration: Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast. Of all the people to pretend to married to, the Seeker would not have been Varric's first choice. For one, he's pretty sure she still hates him. For another, them getting along long enough to sell being blissfully married is going to be...difficult. (Varric has money on the mission becoming an unmitigated disaster. Because really.)

He understands the logic behind them being the pair to go. The Inquisitor had important Inquisitor things to do, and the advisors were vital to ensure Skyhold didn't catch fire when no one was looking. Dorian is from Tevinter, which is an automatic no, and while Vivienne would be a good choice, she made it pretty clear she refused. That left Solas (why), Sera (No), Cole (lol), Iron Bull (NO), Blackwell (he's actually not sure what happened there), and...Varric and Cassandra, who are now stuck with the job.

If the world weren't hanging in the balance, Varric would have declined. But..every ally boosts their chances, and Josephine made the mission sound important, so he couldn't exactly refuse. ]

Hey, Seeker. Not long now until we reach His Royal Extravagance. Are you ready to lie through your teeth?

[ He hasn't dared to bring up the mission until now, mostly because it's difficult to gauge how she's going to react. They are, unfortunately, getting really close to their destination, and it had to be brought up sometime. So while they're stopped to rest is a good a time as any. ]

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[stabsbooks]

[ Mostly, she's been wondering just how it is she got roped into this. It makes no sense. The former Right Hand of the Divine and the author of Thedas' best-loved mystery series? Or, more to the point, and even more confusing to those who know them - Varric and Cassandra? Hopefully they will meet no one in Orlais who's already met them both, or the game will be up immediately. She can hear the peals of laughter already.

And yet, somehow, implausible as the whole deception is, Cassandra's complete disastrousness when it comes to politics notwithstanding...here they are. Both of them. On the road to Orlais, with no distractions and no one to separate them when they inevitably get on one another's nerves.

Pretending to be married. Or about to be, for who knows how many weeks on end.

Personally, she blames Josephine. She must have done...something, to make the mission sound so terribly important, and more to the point, something that the two of them were in any way capable of accomplishing. She'd nearly made it sound fun. Idly, and not for the first time, Cassandra wonders if their hardworking diplomat is secretly a mage. A spell or two would certainly explain her powers of persuasion.

Her expression twists into a frown at Varric's casual question. Which, to be fair, isn't all that different from the grim expression she's been wearing practically since the moment they set out from Skyhold. ]

I believe that is more your field of expertise, Varric.

[ It's a cheap shot, maybe, but she's still nursing some lingering resentment about Hawke. ]

But I will do my best to emulate you. For the good of the Inquisition.